


Over Everything and Nothing

by balmnroses



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura tries to understand human nature, Allura's perspective on humans, Bonding, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Just a bit of Klance, Kind of angsty, Klance bonding, Platonic Relationships, Some Klance, Team as Family, nothing sexual nothing weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 19:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10623459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/balmnroses/pseuds/balmnroses
Summary: Why do humans express their affection by hurting? Why do they hurt the people they love?They fight over everything, and over nothing at all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, the story is that I originally only wanted to write a klance fic but the more I thought about it the more my idea morphed…so that’s gonna have to wait. I’ll write another one if this turns out well, I promise. I wanted to write a fic about human relationships and conflict, and I realized exploring it from an outsider's perspective would be so interesting. (Oh god, I’ve written too many serious papers, and it shows.) Also I swear a lot irl so that shows, too.
> 
> I tried to write the relationships in a platonic/familial way, so hopefully you’ll enjoy them! Although I am rather smitten with klance, so do indulge me.

\-----

Allura’s not sure if she actually understands humans, not even with the bonds she shares with the Paladins. Sure, she’s confident that she knows them – she trains with them, battles with them, fights _for_ them - but even then, she knows so little about their kind, and it makes her so curious. The more she compares them to herself and the community she once lived in, the more she yearns to know about _their_ world.  Would she ever have the opportunity to step foot on Earth? She’s caught herself wondering about them: what humans are like as a whole, how civilizations develop and grow - without any form of spells or runes, indeed - whether they are cooperative or destructive, friendly or antagonistic. 

And the truth? She’s learnt that humans can be everything and anything. Humans are emotional and irrational, and so, _so_ fierce. They can be all or none of the above, they exist as free wills with free minds and bodies, open to infinite possibilities. They’re unpredictable as a race and as individuals, and it amazes her as much as it concerns her, though she knows she needn’t be too concerned with her team. And, _honestly_ , Allura knows she doesn’t need to understand the human race this intimately at all. She knows and trusts her Paladins. It’s just some things she witnesses some days which make her wonder- _why?_  

It’s their emotions - they make them wild and unimaginably reckless, and so, _so_ hurtful. She gets pain and emotion, she feels them all too strongly, too. She felt it when she lost her father, her entire world…her world. What she doesn’t really get is why humans hurt each other and themselves, only to regret everything. She doesn’t understand how they can even bear to look another in the eyes and say hateful things they know are truest in the least, _knowing_ the consequences of their words and actions each step of the way. It’s like they’re playing one huge, complicated game, except that nobody knows the rules, not one bit. 

 

Why do humans express their affection by _hurting_? Why do they hurt the people they love?

 

They fight over everything, and over nothing at all. 

 

 

—

 

Allura sees the pain in Pidge’s eyes when she snaps one time. It’s after a mission on board a small enemy ship, nothing too major, just an extraction of information to solidify their plans. And yet the mission had very _almost_ gone awry because Pidge had insisted on tapping in on the ship’s backup files to find out where her family had been taken to. Everyone is alive, intact, relieved, but near-death experiences have the tendency to tip one over the edge ever so slightly.

 

The team sits in the main hangar together, regaining composure. “That was a _close_ one,” Lance mumbles, leaning against the wall and sliding to the floor, helmet in his arms. His hair is _singed_. “We coulda died, guys. Oh my fuckin’ god. Look at you, Keith, you look terrible.” 

“You look like a failed kitchen experiment,” Keith pants, wiping blood off his cheek. “But yeah, that was too close. What the hell?”

“The important thing is that we’re all here, and that we completed the mission. I’m glad we’re all safe. Good work, everyone.” Shiro surveys the group, turns to Pidge. “Pidge, I know what happened in there wasn’t your fault, but-”

 “But what?” Pidge responds sharply, instantaneously. She stands in front of Green, clutching her helmet almost defiantly. The look in her eyes _dares_ anyone else to speak. “I shouldn’t have tried looking for my brother and father? Shiro, I _need_ to know.”

Shiro’s expression turns troubled. “I know, Pidge, I know. I’m so sorry. It’s just that it could have cost us our lives, and the whole universe.” 

“I know, I know! I want to save the world but I also want to live in a world which actually _has_ my family. I’m sorry but I miss them _so much,_ Shiro _._ And nobody died today, okay? It went fine. It won’t happen again.”

 

“Pidge. The entire galaxy rests on our shoulders, we-” He hesitates. “We can’t afford to be selfish.”

 

 

For a moment, Pidge looks as though she’s about to cry, but that doesn’t happen. Instead, her face clouds with frustration and she starts to walk out of the room, equipment in hand.  Lance opens her mouth and moves to stop her, but Hunk grabs his left shoulder and Keith taps his right warningly. Allura’s about to go after Pidge herself before Shiro catches Pidge’s arm right at the door. 

 

“You know I want to find them more than anything, Katie!”

 

_Katie_.  Shiro never calls her that in public, ever, but he’s frustrated and worried, and Pidge is worn and upset, and none of it helps one bit.

Pidge freezes. Her gaze moves to look at Shiro’s arm, his _Galra_ arm, which grips onto hers, before looking into his eyes. Allura senses immense bitterness, and a rush of impulse-

 

“You know _what_? Sometimes I wish it’d been my brother who’d returned to Earth, not you.”

 

The dial in the atmosphere turns from cold to downright _icy_.

 

Pidge dislodges her arm from Shiro’s grip, now slack, and exits the room wordlessly.

 

 

There’s a moment of silence where everybody tries to recover from the situation. “Shit, I’m going to see if she’s okay,” Hunk mumbles to Lance and Keith, before he politely but hurriedly excuses himself from the room. Lance blinks, unsure if he should follow suit, but by the time he’s come to his senses Hunk’s already dashed out, and it would probably just be awkward if he did so, too. All remaining eyes turn to Shiro, who lingers at the doorway, expression blank.

Allura isn’t sure what to do at all.  

 

She steps forward, ready to say something, but Shiro speaks first.

“Everybody, let’s break it up and get a good rest. Today’s mission was tough.” 

Keith starts. “Shiro-”

“It’s okay.” Shiro’s voice is low as he turns away. “See you guys tomorrow.”

 

Allura wishes she understood so much more.

 

— ---

 

“Shiro, would you like to try a cup of jazzle juice? Coran just made a delicious batch from some fresh flowers he picked.”

 

Allura knocks on Shiro’s door tentatively. She knows he’s in. A few moments pass and Allura almost considers her initiative a failure before the door slides open and Shiro emerges. He looks slightly worn from the previous day’s mission, but greets her warmly all the same.

 

“It’d be a pleasure.”

 

\----

 

It’s just the two of them in the kitchen, sitting side by side. Shiro’s uncharacteristically…unconfident. Allura doesn’t want to probe too much, but-

“Shiro, have you spoken to Pidge?” 

Shiro hesitates, eyes lowered. “I’m not sure if she wants to speak to me, but I do want to make things right.”

Allura gently places her arm on his shoulder. She hopes to reassure. “You know she did not mean any of what she said. Nobody is at fault.”

“I know. She would never mean me harm like that.” He raises his head to meet her gaze. “But as the leader of Voltron, as the Black Paladin, and as the oldest member of the team, I should have been able to diffuse the situation, make things right. And now…” He sighs. “You know, I shouldn’t have said it was selfish of her.”

“It’s all in the past, and the present needs us.”

“It was just yesterday. However many ticks that may be.” He smiles just a little. “We’ll talk eventually. Maybe the others will help, too.”

Allura nods slowly. “If you are sure.”

 

“…It sounds horrible of me to say, but I’m concerned about forming Voltron now, too. We need to be prepared for any Galra attacks, but I’m not sure we’re as good a team as we were before. I’ll have to make it right as soon as I can.”

“May I assist?” _Oops._  Allura catches herself sounding too eager to intervene. She clears her throat. “Um, I could perhaps try to talk to Pidge, or-”

Shiro smiles. “No, it’s fine. Humans argue and make mistakes all the time. We’ll find a way out of this soon enough.”

 

Allura can sense a faint tingle of despair, and feels an urge to call the team together immediately so she can attempt to mediate the situation. She considers finding Pidge herself, telling her that Shiro is hurting. She considers checking surveillance, scanning the castle. But she knows it isn’t her place.

 

She squeezes Shiro’s arm lightly.

 

“You’ll find a way.”

 

 

——

 

There’s just something about human conflict that is so raw and painful, even for bystanders. Things get intense, bitter, personal. It’s not at all like being at war, _that she knows all too well_ – no, they’re never truly at war with each other. If anything, they’re constantly at war with themselves.

 

Humans, so fierce, so _fragile_.

 

It frustrates Allura that she doesn’t know how to resolve these issues. Yes, she’s royalty, and _Altean_ at that – she’s literally _built_ for diplomacy- and she’s always prided herself in being able to take control of situations and patch up relationships, but frankly, in Earth years, she’s not much older than the team, really (leaving out the 10,000 years she was asleep, of course). She knows she lacks the wisdom and authority to facilitate any form of effective dispute resolution.

 

So here she is, sitting at the observation deck with a glass of now-lukewarm jazzle juice in her hands. The liquid swirls gently by itself, its pale yellow slowly dissolving into deep blue, fizzing occasionally. _Oh, Coran_.  The juice brings back fond memories of her childhood – drinks presented to guests at banquets in fine silver goblets, her playing in the gardens with her hair let loose in the wind, the beautiful collection of exotic flowers planted deep in the palace grounds, her father…

 

The mice climb up her back to rest on her shoulder as she absentmindedly observes the contents of her glass. She pats them affectionately.

“Sometimes I forget that the universe is so large, and that I am but a speck in the vastness of space. Yet we continue to live and breathe, and- _oh_ , there is meaning to each day we exist if we find it.”

The mice snuggle up against her neck affectionately. Allura’s spirits lift ever so slightly.

 

– –

 

It’s a few hours later when Allura finds herself wandering about the castle. They’re tucked in a safe space with no Galra activity within considerable range – a good place to regroup, she decides. They need to find time to – ah, what was that saying again – right, _get it together_. 

Not that they’re torn. Just…mending.

 

Allura slides quietly into the observation panel which hangs above the training deck, having been drawn in by the sounds of battle. Peering past the glass, which acts as a one-way mirror, she pinpoints the source of the noise.

 

Flashes of red and blue.

 

Keith, with his hair tied back, swings his sword down, only to be sidestepped. Lance moves forward to land a hit, but Keith brings up his shield in defense. The sword slides down and the force of impact pushes them apart. In another second they’re at it again.

 

It’s new to see them in this setting, Allura thinks. She’s never really observed them training together, _alone,_ especially since Lance fights long-range and Keith prefers melee combat.

 

Keith pins Lance down onto the ground with a trip. Lance, despite being half-winded, manages a laugh. 

“ _And while you were studying the blade, I was busy kicking ass-_ ”

“Shut it, Lance. Honestly, you’re the one on the floor right now. Whose ass is being kicked?”

“Dude, stop for a moment! You’re taking this way too seriously.”

 

Keith steps away, annoyed. “How else am I supposed to take it?”

“I dunno, with a pinch of fun?” Lance gets up and dusts himself off. “No need to get so riled up over everything, anyway. _Relax_.  Nothing’s going to happen to us for the next couple of days at least.”

“Whatever. You’re the one who wanted to come here today, anyway.”

 

Lance blinks, then heaves a sigh. He’s tired. “I kinda just wanted to get away today, you know? Pidge kind of ran off to work on her tech stuff and won’t speak to me, and Hunk got kinda stressed so he’s baking, so I dunno, tension’s high, right? And I don’t wanna get caught in it but the situation really sucks right now.”

 

“…Yeah, we can’t form Voltron like this, either.”

 

A hint of genuine irritation appears on Lance’s face. “Fucking hell, Keith. Can’t you be more concerned about people than you are about _Voltron_ for once? That’s heartless.”

 

Allura can’t read the expression forming on Keith’s face, but she senses the mood that approaches. It’s ominous, and all of a sudden she feels a little uneasy, like she’s intruded on yet another glimpse of humanity that wasn’t intended for her. It doesn’t help, either, that she can hear each word they say, each breath they take – communications are still on, and her ears are particularly sensitive.

 

“Fuck you.” Keith grits through his teeth. “I’m just trying to make sure we all stay alive.”

 

Lance narrows his eyes. He’s set his sword down on the floor. “Do you even _care_ about other people? Sometimes it’s like you don’t get feelings at all.”

 

Keith struggles with his words. “I…I’m not good with them,” he says flatly. “I mean, I’m just trying to keep my focus here. Shiro won’t talk to me about what happened yesterday, so thank _you_ , Pidge-”

 

Lance’s voice is dangerously low, like a receding tide before the tsunami. “Don’t you dare say shit about Pidge. She didn’t know what she was saying,” he says defensively.

 

“Well, what do you want me to do?” Keith bites back fiercely, and Allura can almost feel fiery waves of frustration rolling off him. “Because surely you’re not expecting _me_ to resolve all this bullshit.”

 

“I dunno, man, stop being such a jerk for once!” Lance is visibly angry at this point. “Stop calling this bullshit, because it is a problem, and we’re not going to ignore problems like you do!”

 

“Like _what_?” Keith snarls.

 

“Our team dynamic, Keith! Us and everyone!” Lance gestures wildly. “Believe it or not, we’re all part of a team, and we don’t get to have the luxury of lying around and waiting for our friends’ arguments to solve themselves- that’s right, I said _friends_ , because we’re supposed to be friends! All of us! We-”

 

Lance rambles on, and Allura, from her hidden spot in the control room, senses the wild, frantic rhythm of their beating hearts. It’s rare for Lance to blow up, but today he seems wired up – affected by recent events, evoking his natural protectiveness over Pidge, whom he sees as a little sister – and it worries her. She _knows_ they’ll say things that they don’t mean, because they know it’ll hurt, that it’ll make an impact. Because they’re acting on reckless, _reckless_ impulse-

 

“What do you know about human emotions, anyway? _Galra_. ”

 

––---

 

Allura wishes Lance had taken back his words. She knows that it hurts, _stings_ , to be even remotely tied to that dreadful, cruel bloodline, and she fills with regret thinking about how she had previously cast Keith aside when they had first learnt of his true lineage. _No._ Everything about this is irrational, and they know it.

 

Should she intervene? Allura nearly laughs because of how unbecoming of her this is. She doesn’t even know what got her into this situation – how she’s almost crouched behind the controls, sneaking about, overlooking a tussle she wouldn’t have ever been aware of had she not stepped foot into the room this very day. What would Father think – what would Father do?

 

She feels like an intruder more than ever.  

 

\-----

 

Keith’s face seems to drain of colour as he stands perfectly still for a moment or two. The silence is broken only by the sound of Keith’s bayard dropping to the floor with a thud, and the two stand in the aftermath of a meaningless fight.

 

When he speaks, his voice is barely a whisper. “Do you really think that of me?”

 

Somehow, all traces of anger are gone – just quiet waves of despair.

 

Lance stares wordlessly, his silence seemingly speaking volumes, but his eyes, his brilliant blue eyes betray his immense _regret_.

 

Keith’s voice cracks. “Okay.”

 

 

Slowly and quietly, he picks his bayard from the ground, eyes darting away, looking anywhere but ahead of him, where Lance is standing, frozen the spot. It isn’t until Keith turns and starts walking towards the exit when Lance gasps and breaks out of his vacancy-

 

“-No, Keith, wait- _shit_ -”

He’s running now, grasping at Keith’s arm, pulling him back.

“ _No - you-_ ” Keith attempts to wriggle free of Lance’s grip, desperate to leave the room, the damn _space_ they’re sharing right now, but Lance won’t let him, his grip tightening.

“Keith, I’m _sorry_!”

 

They come to a standstill, Keith pointedly refusing to make eye contact.

 

“I mean it- _shit_ , I mean I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that, that was fuckin’ stupid of me, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t…” He trails off.

 

Keith remains silent.

 

“…I didn’t know you’d be this upset about it,” Lance finishes.

 

 

The ensuing stillness that sweeps the room is almost suffocating. Allura considers sliding away-

 

“I know I’m not the most expressive.” Keith breaks the silence. “But I feel too, you know?”

 

“Keith, I…”

 

“And Pidge, I- _ugh_ , I didn’t mean anything when I said that, I’m just tired and I don’t want to deal with this anymore, it’s frustrating and I don’t want them to fight, they obviously don’t want each other gone, it’s all a stupid misunderstanding and I am so _sick_ of it-”

 

 

For some reason, Lance starts to laugh. “You’re so pure.”

“ _What?_ ” Keith tries to jerk his arm away but it only brings them closer. They’re standing in front of each other now, close enough to see every detail of each other’s faces – each strand of messy hair splayed across the forehead, each freckle, each glimmer of the eye-

Keith stares right at Lance as words seem to fail him completely.

He tries again. “What-”

“I said, despite your _asshole_ exterior, you’re a real softie, Keith.” Lance’s voice is soft. “You _do_ care.”

 

“…Of course I care.”

 

“Hey.” Lance’s grip on Keith’s arm loosens as he shifts his hand to rest on his shoulder. They’re so close. “I’m sorry, I mean it. I was feeling really high-strung this morning, and I blew up at you, and you didn’t deserve that. I’m a moron.”

  

Somehow, the tension in the room breaks. There’s room to breathe again.  

 

Keith shakes his head, smiling faintly. “You’re a moron.”

 

“Takes one to know one.”

 

“Fuck you, Lance.” But his tone is soft now, hostility long faded.

 

Lance breaks into a smile.

 

“We’re idiots.”

 

It’s quiet. Lance moves in a bit closer to Keith as he pulls him in, bringing his arms around him slowly, gently, embracing him. He radiates soft warmth. Keith seems to melt completely, and he leans into the touch, burying his face into Lance’s neck, hands moving to the back of Lance’s shirt, holding on like he’s missed this.

 

Lance speaks softly, quietly. “…Forgive me?”

 

Keith doesn’t move. “…Yeah.”

 

They don’t break apart, and Allura decides that she should probably leave before they realize she’s here.

 

–—

 

Allura’s not quite sure what she expected, really. Was she thinking they’d engage in a fight to the death? God, she doesn’t know. They’re so unpredictable.

 

She can’t help but smile.

 

–

 

It’s quite her luck that she stumbles across Pidge in the hangar, sitting with Green, tapping on keyboards, switching between virtual screens. For one moment, she considers leaving it be, but the air around Pidge is different. It’s not cold or hostile, just…quiet. Forlorn.

Any intention to lecture or chide Pidge has faded – she only wishes to reach out.

 

“…Pidge. May I speak with you?”

 

Pidge glances up, thoughts interrupted, her facial expression betraying a hint of surprise. _Hm_. She seems to contemplate her situation before gesturing to the space next to her, mumbling, “Be my guest.”

 

_Ah, thank goodness_.  Settling on the floor and crossing her legs, Allura turns away from the monitors. She’s not sure how to begin. “Would you like to talk about…what happened?”

“Ah…” Pidge doesn’t meet her gaze directly. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Allura chooses her words carefully. “Will you be ready to talk about it soon?”

 

“…I don’t know.”

 

Quiet falls over them as Pidge’s setup hums in the background. Allura is just starting to feel the slightest bit anxious, when Pidge lifts her head and breaks the silence-

 

“Hunk told me that Shiro was looking for me, but honestly? I don’t know if I can face him right now.”

 

Allura looks up in surprise.

 

“It’s stupid enough that I lost my brother and father, y’know? I don’t want to lose Shiro, too. Or any of you guys for that matter,” Pidge’s voice cracks just a little. “And I know-I know you’ve had it way worse, Allura, I can’t even imagine what it must be like, but-”

 

“I understand, Pidge.” Allura’s voice is tender. “I do.”

 

_Suppose I can take a leaf out of their book,_ she muses, as she quietly pulls Pidge into a hug. Pidge lets her, curling up into her, face pressed to her shoulder, hot tears soaking in. Allura pats her gently, softly.

Pidge’s a genius, but in the end, she, too, is young, and shouldn’t be carrying the weight of the world all by herself.

 

 

“I guess I…maybe I should apologize to everyone…” Pidge mumbles into her shoulder. Allura smiles.

“Only when you feel like it can be done. We all love you very much, Pidge.” 

Pidge lets out a watery laugh. “I love you guys too, you know.” Her voice is muffled, head buried in Allura’s shoulder. “You guys are like my second family now. I wouldn’t let anything happen to any of you.”

Allura giggles. “I’m not sure if we’re _all_ family, although Coran is most certainly the wacky uncle.”

“ _Oh_ , Allura.” Despite the situation, Pidge snickers. “Have you been spying on Lance and Keith, too?”

“Pray tell.”

“Oh my _god_ , they’re idiots. A hundred percent. Dumbest guys in the entire universe, across all possible timelines.”

“They are indeed.”

 

 

They sit there comfortably for a while, the air having settled to a nice calm.

 

 

“So you will talk to Shiro?”

 

Pidge only hugs her tighter. “I will.”

 

–

 

Two days later and the castle has bounced back to its usual mood. The atmosphere is warm and light, almost cheerful even though they’re in the dark depths of space, everyone is okay again. It’s times like these when Allura really appreciates and admires the sheer _resilience_ of humanity, at their determination to bounce back, to fight back, their ability to forgive and love again.

 

She’s in the kitchen again, watching Hunk whip up a new dish – _Coran’s got nothing on him, Princess, this is gonna blow his damn mind_ – when Shiro approaches.

 

“Thank you.”

 

It’s left unsaid, but she understands. It’s a thanks for letting things run their course, for being patient with them, for _understanding_. She beams at him.

 

“I’m just glad we are a team again. The balance has been righted again.”

“Indeed.” Shiro says. “And you’re looking cheerier, too.”

“Perhaps I have my- what’s that they say – ah, _faith restored in humanity_? ” Allura giggles at her own little quip. The self-deprecating nature of some human jokes are equal parts puzzling and amusing.   

Shiro smiles. “Princess, you can always place your faith in us. We’re stronger than you know.”

 

Allura smiles back, her heart lifted.

 

“I will.”

 

––

 

The amazing thing about humanity, she realizes, is that they are so fiercely strong in the way they feel. 

 

 

They fight over everything, and nothing at all.

  

––

 

**Author's Note:**

> End notes
> 
> Oh my god, I’m too far gone. Don’t even bother to count the number of times I wrote “ _soft _” oh my g o d__
> 
> ___Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Initially I was really intimidated, diving into this, especially because I haven’t written fiction in extremely long, not to mention that I’m not exactly great at it. This was also a bit more of a challenge that I originally thought because I realized I’d have to write somewhat from Allura’s perspective, which I hadn’t thought about previously. It’s really intriguing, though, to write from an “outsider” perspective. This was a really great way to warm-up.  
>     
> Also I’m hoping to work on something new soon bc I super like Klance, and I really wanna show my appreciation for Hunk, he’s really the best man, best buddy, best _dude _, god forbid anything bad happens to him_  
>   __
> 
> _____Please do leave me a review/comment if you like, I’ll read and reply. Seriously, man, you guys warm my heart:’)  
>     
>  _Visit me on tumblr (greenteaquadratini) if you ever wanna chat, or ask me questions, literally anything. Spam me. Muacks. Love you guys. _____ _


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